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He needs to know that he is providing that safety- that it's a direct result of his actions. He needs to know that I belong to him, and that I will always be there for him, emotionally. He needs to know that I'm not going anywhere. My actions, my words, my ability to let him lead- they all reflect his direct provision of my personal and emotional safety. They show him that I support him. They show that I'm fully engaged in being his support, in encouraging anything he chooses to pursue. I show him, tell him, and act in ways that let him know- I'm HIS.
While he enjoys sex, it's not a bartered commodity for us. There's no "if-then" or "because"; sex happens - we enjoy intimacy and we love each other. Him keeping me safe has very little to do with it.
I will have to say that our interest has certainly been inspired through our Taken In Hand dynamics; and we've enjoyed a much richer sex life with it.
However, more/full access to sex was not directly related to the provision of safety in our case. His protection has allowed me to offer him other things (in my case, much deeper, more intimate things than my body) than sex. He's never had to worry about a lack of sex at our house- usually, he's had to fight me off. (haha)
His reward for having made me wholly protected, loved and adored is much richer than getting laid whenever he wants. His needs are more complex than physical desires.
I agree again- once I felt safe, my walls and boundaries vanished. I was able to give him what he needed, freely and lovingly. But in our case, it wasn't sex.
by Quietly His on 2005 Aug 13 - 14:35 | reply to this comment
Complex needs
I am very curious about the nature of those non-sexual but very intimate needs.
by Anne-Sophie on 2005 Sep 8 - 22:39 | reply to this comment
Complex needs simplified (maybe)
I'll admit, I'm one of those "high maintenance" girls. I need lots of attention, a lot of confidence building, and so forth. My Darling has been able to get through a lot of my serious emotional crud and get me to a place where I feel SAFE. LOVED. Special, important, valued. Like I matter.
![[PukiWiki]](image/pukiwiki.png "[PukiWiki]")
