I want to be a man. If only so I can feel good about myself when reading magazines.
I’m a smart, confident woman. I subscribe to the Atlantic Monthly and Vanity Fair so I can stay abreast of liberal politics and sit in my “garden-level” apartment pretending to be an elitist, East Coast blueblood. Lately though, I’ve been keeping up with women’s magazines for blog ideas. And I gotta tell you, reading them makes you feel like dog doo.
First are all those supermodels and actresses with their awesomely toned bodies, shiny hair and perfect skin. Their photos are surrounded by tips on how we can achieve the look as if none of us have jobs or families to attend to. Did you know Jennifer Aniston had two rice cakes and a teaspoon of peanut butter for breakfast? When she wants to splurge, she eats bread. Wild woman.