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I think something that nobody has addressed yet is that the triangle might change throughout one’s life and experiences. For example, the hot guys you see with ugly girls, perhaps those guys were tired of all the emotional instability that is associated with girls obsessed with appearances, so he shifted his triangle to “Emotionally stable and Intelligent”
It’s just a matter of organizing your personal thought processes and knowing what your triangle points to next. I think the generalization of the male triangle is pretty accurate. The pairing of only two is very accurate. Generally, women who are good looking, tend to have intelligence or emotional stability, rarely both.
The female triangle though, I will agree with the “emotional responsiveness” in addition to the emotional stability. I think women value the emotionally stable man who is also willing to show vulnerability, and emotional need, and I agree that if they value that, they have to give up looks or intelligence.
This is really such an enlightening article as to my needs in my relationship.
Jesse February 23, 2011 at 10:18 am
I refuse to settle for anything but all three!
Also, what values would be assigned to these characteristics? Would someone be extremely attractive and well-grounded, but dumb as a rock? Or would they just be pretty good-looking, relatively stable, but just a little lacking in smarts?
I feel like if I were asked for my response, if the characteristics would be at the extremes of the scale, I couldn’t answer it. Seriously. “Sorry, but you should probably find another test subject; I can’t answer that.” If there was just a small spread, though, I would probably pick intelligence and emotional stability… I think. Or maybe beauty and intelligence, and I could try to work with the emotional instability part. I mean, couples are meant to grow and improve together, right?
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