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So is it any surprise that when I start dating someone and it starts to feel serious I get a little needy? I want reassurance that I'm not wasting my time. That I'm not turning my world upside down (ignoring my bills, sleeping too little, not going dancing with CK, not calling Princess every other day) just to have him cut out in a week or a month. I start asking some of those horrible, impossible, tricky questions. Is he bored? Am I talking too much? Does he like the way I look?

I doubt everything. I'm sure he's going to leave. The more anxious I am, as it turns out, the more likely I am to be right--he is going to leave. And I stop thinking. I stop asking myself what I want. I think about what he wants. I wonder what he wants. I wonder if he likes me. I wonder why he likes me. God, it's depressing--and no fun at all.

When I was dating the Republican back in November, I started to ask him questions with no (right) answers. He said, "What do you want from me?"

"What do you mean? I just want to know how you feel..."

"You want me to tell you everything's fine?" He asked.

"Sure...I guess so. I want reassurance." I said.

"You want reassurance?"

"Yes, of course I do. Why shouldn't I? What's wrong with that?" I asked.

"I'm not doing it. We're not doing that. I'm not reassuring you." He said.

"What? Why not?" I was surprised.
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Last-modified: 2021-01-20 (水) 01:21:22 (1184d)