True for men, too, though not quite as sharply since age isn’t quite as much of a factor.

November 20, 2009 6:44 pm
what if you do find your soulmate? THEN WHAT

aliasclio PERMALINK
November 20, 2009 6:57 pm
Hmm. I would *not* advise trying to scare single women into marrying simply because time is passing and they might get left out of the marriage market altogether if they wait too long. First, it tends to provoke resentment; second, it can scare some women into selecting mates with whom a happy marriage is very unlikely; third, not all women want to get married and of those who do, some would really be better off not having children.

I believe myself to have made many mistakes in the course of my romantic history and regret them, but I don’t regret waiting until my mid-40s to get married. Or rather, I’m not sorry that I didn’t marry any of the men whom I dated back in my 20s or 30s. I don’t believe I would have been happy with any of them (even those who were alphas), nor that they would have been happy with me. What I regret about those so-called relationships today is that I got into them at all, since they now strike me as a waste of my time and emotional energy, and that of the men involved, too.

Meanwhile, I wouldn’t suggest that women ought to hold out for an alpha, but at the same time, I think it’s unfair to expect women to give up the possibility of marrying sexually attractive men (which is what Roissyites mean by “alpha”) unless we also expect men to choose women they find unattractive on the basis of their good hearts.

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