May 28, 2011 at 9:33 am · Reply
Well, not absolutely zero, but they aren’t like the type 1 or type 2 guys… usually they’re both very anxious AND very uncalibrated. Which is rare. It’s rare to find people who are both.

It’s a chicken-and-egg thing… are they like that because of their horrible mindsets? Or do they have horrible mindsets because they’re like that? Maybe a bit of both…

But where to start? Therapy, meditation, a lot of long discussions about their beliefs before we even step foot in front of a girl. My experience is that for any change to take place whatsoever, there has to be some honest self-awareness. They need to be able to develop at least a little third-person perspective on themselves before any change can take place. Typically any field work you do with guys like this will go terribly and just reinforce whatever awful beliefs they already have.

May 27, 2011 at 7:13 pm · Reply
I don’t mean to double-post but the lifestyle/looks part I agree with. I’ve been working out for a couple of months and I went to get fitted for a collared shirt at Tommy Hilfiger. The first shirt, too wide. And during all the recitals I’ve been at, the one I’ve chosen because I did not know any better. So I went down a size, and damn. I looked pretty aesthetic in it. That one glare at the mirror where I had both style and muscle was more fulfilling than anything a girl could give to me. I had given myself the gift of confidence through working out and picking out the right clothes.

Ahh I was so happy that afternoon. And the best part is I’ve realized that my lifestyle/looks part needed help and inside I said to myself, forget the immediate day to day things, let’s change this now. I’m happy to see you reaffirm this.

May 28, 2011 at 1:19 am · Reply

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